sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
