marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
