I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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