lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
