Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
