someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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