Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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