Its about making memories worth repressing
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
