How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
