i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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