Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
