Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
