I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
