so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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