Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
