I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
