WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
