Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
