Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
