I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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