I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
