thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
