I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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