problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
