wanna go halves on a baby?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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