So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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