Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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