Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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