hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
