even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
