Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
