I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
