I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
