But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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