do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
