Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
