But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
