Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
