my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
