I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
