whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Hippo gnu deer
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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