Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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