she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
