Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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