Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My ass is underappreciated
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
