why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
