Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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