hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
