Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i already hear my dad disowning me
he thought i was a dude.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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