i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
