I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
