She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
