It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
