i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
