my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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