Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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