On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
