Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
