Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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