so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
