WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
