When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mom said you looked used
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
